What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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