I cannot find my penis.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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