Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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