Me too!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
