But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
