You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
