hotel room ftw
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
