My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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