it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
