he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
