Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
