you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
