I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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