Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
3 2 1 whiskey
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
