are you still at the devil's house?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize