Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
