I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
