I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
