What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
