I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
