but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize