me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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