Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I understand Curling. That high.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
