i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
