Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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