Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
