Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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