What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
