I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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