I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
