She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
