Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
