Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I touched a dick in church today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
