it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
