Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
