Pants 0. Shit 1.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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