We're like a lot better than the average bears
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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