I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
