i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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