sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
