White coat. Heels.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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