Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
