are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
