I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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