Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize