were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
