On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
