I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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