I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
