rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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