I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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