2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
