tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
