It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
