just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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