I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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