how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize