A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
