Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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