You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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