you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
