If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
