One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize